“I will lead the blind by a way they do not know, in paths they do not know I will guide them. I will make darkness into light before them and rugged places into plains. These are the things I will do, and I will not leave them undone.” (Isa- iah 42: 16). With this promise from God, I embarked on my journey to U.S.A., a door God had opened for me to fulfill my aspiration. Then life happens, and I had new roles and responsibilities to assume. Soon that aspiration fell by the wayside. This devastated me because I thought I had failed God.
After being a stay-at-home mom for about 10 years, I began thinking of re- turning to the workforce. Then I learned about CWJC. I felt the Holy Spirit leading me to attend it. But I hesitated, because I wasn’t sure how CWJC could help me. Later I realized I had better update my computer skills and to learn the PC version of Microsoft Office (because I have been using the Mac version at home) if I were to rejoin the workforce. It was then that I decided CWJC could help me in that aspect.
Little would I know that CWJC would help me so much more. From the Bible lessons Kathleen Cline was teaching, I learned that Satan often uses our fear, insecurity, guilt, shame, regret, and hopelessness to paralyze us into a state of status quo instead of becoming the person God wants us to be, and he stops us from being the light that God wants us to shine. I am so grateful for all the one- on-one conversations with Susan Elder and Lisa Evers. They shared their life stories with me and how God was working in their lives. Their life experiences were insightful -- I had put some blame on my husband for the unfulfilled aspiration, but now I had learned to have better communication with him, and our marriage has grown stronger. Susan and Lisa were also very encouraging to me – they helped me see that the choice I had made in not fulfilling my aspiration was not deemed a failure to God. I also thank God for Don Grove who was so big-hearted to take my call to help me through a job application. I say big-hearted, because he had just had a major surgery and was still in pain. But he picked up his phone anyway and talked me through a psychological roadblock I had in my job application. The internship in a private company gave me new confidence to return to the workforce. The mentorship was invaluable in giving me a friend and confidante in Beth Hoffman to walk me through the road back to employment.
Now I could apply for all the jobs without the fear and insecurity crippling me. I am freed from the emotional bag- gage of being a failure to God. I have come to peace with that unfulfilled aspi- ration; I no longer have any regrets about it. I can apply to jobs with God’s courage. My own human failings had shrunk God into a small box. CWJC has helped me see who the real God is – He is so much bigger -- more loving, more patient, more understanding, and more powerful than my human mind can comprehend. CWJC has helped me unshackled my spiritual chain of bondage of guilt and shame to freely be the child of God, to build new dreams, and to trust God for the future.